Lowbrow humor that will crack you up.
This ancient tradition on construction sites goes back millennia, hieroglyphs on the great pyramid of Giza seem to suggest this ritual was carried out by master builders on their apprentices.
'Thots' a term widely used to describe women who simply don't care about their bodies and sleep with every man imaginable while out clubbing and hitting the bar scene on a regular basis. Only to come home and complain that they can't find a good man.
Perhaps your lifestyle choices is the reason that no man has any respect for you, because you don't respect yourselves. This is a lifestyle that is perpetrated by those that run stations such as MTV and glorify women who are emotionally unstable and resort to slutting it up in order to feel as if people want to pay attention to them.
Came Back To His Senses
These did NOT go down well.
"We're so self-important. So self-important. Everybody's going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet?
"I'm getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. They don't care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don't. Not in the abstract they don't. You know what they're interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me.
"Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun?
"The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet...the planet...the planet isn't going anywhere. WE ARE!
"We're going away. Pack your shit, folks. We're going away. And we won't leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be here and we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.
"You wanna know how the planet's doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet's doing. You wanna know if the planet's all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.
"The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, "Why are we here?" Plastic...asshole.
"So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I think that's begun. Don't you think that's already started? I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let's see... Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh...viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.
"Well, that's a poetic note. And it's a start. And I can dream, can't I? See I don't worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron...whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn't punish, it doesn't reward, it doesn't judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while."
When Indians decide to head bang during this parade, things spiral out of control rather quickly!
Watch this guy hanging on the back of the truck literally bring the back of the truck down with him when he starts swinging his head to the music.
This one here tries to mess up with his friend and it really works. What makes it hilarious is the revenge attempt and it goes all wrong.
A hodgepodge of pictures of our wonderfully eclectic world
Sometimes Tumblr just hit the nail right on the head.
That embarrassing moment when you think your phone is just muted, but it's actually playing in another room.
Heavy downpours caused flooding near Mumbai, which left the train tracks at a busy station covered in water. This caused a bad situation when a speeding train flew through the station, covering the waiting commuters with dirty water.
Lawrence O’Donnell had a really bad night on August 29, 2017.
We draw that conclusion based on the above clip obtained by Mediaite, showing behind the scenes footage of a furious O’Donnell absolutely going bananas in what appear to be breaks in his show.
The video, which lasts a full eight minutes, is a collection of clips from one evening (given O’Donnell’s consistent outfit) and show the MSNBC anchor fuming about earpiece malfunctions, blasting off obscenities and screaming at his staff. We were able to link it back to the August 29 show.
After introducing a clip about President Donald Trump, O’Donnell pauses, and during what one can presume was the clip going on air, a sudden flush of anger creeps onto his face.
“What’s going on, why am I losing this, why don’t I have sound,” he starts, voice rising. “Who’s asking for a Labor Day rundown in my ear?”
“God dammit,” he mutters, shaking his head, before bursting into a brief spasm of fury and slamming his fists on the desk.
In the next clip, O’Donnell finishes up a segment, and declares: “There’s insanity in the control room tonight.” He then begins to visibly shake with anger, but manages to hold his tongue, and continues reading from the prompter.
“You have insanity in my earpiece,” O’Donnell then seethes through tightly drawn lips. “Fuckin.”
The pattern continues in subsequent clips, with O’Donnell continuing to complain angrily about someone talking into his earpiece.
“STOP THE HAMMERING!” O’Donnell cries suddenly, in response to a knocking sound running faintly in the background.
He then stands up and launches into a shouted tirade past the camera.
“STOP THE HAMMERING UP THERE. WHO’S GOT A HAMMER? WHERE IS IT? WHERE’S THE HAMMER? GO UP ON THE OTHER FLOOR. SOMEBODY GO UP THERE AND STOP THE HAMMERING. STOP THE HAMMERING. I’LL GO DOWN TO THE GODDAMNED FLOOR MYSELF AND STOP IT, KEEP THE GODDAMNED COMMERCIAL BREAK GOING. CALL FUCKING PHIL GRIFFIN, I DON’T CARE WHO THE FUCK YOU HAVE TO CALL. STOP THE HAMMERING. EMPTY OUT THE GODDAMNED CONTROL ROOM AND FIND OUT WHERE THIS IS GOING ON.”
Phil Griffin is the president of MSNBC.
“Fucking out of control shit,” O’Donnell adds.
Porn stars are united in one thing, finding the men that leave those vulgar comments that apparently get their clams wet.
Listen to several of the world's most famous porn stars, such as Romi Rain and Riley Reid desperately plea for the men leaving those comments stick also add their contact information so they can fulfill the fantasies they've left under their videos.
Soccer enthusiast Kai Rigby has traveled extensively and picked up an impressive knack for impersonating different accents along the way.Kai is back in Birmingham, England, working with his company Football Road Trips. Recently, on one such trip to Amsterdam, Kai was caught on camera demonstrating his considerable talent for replicating various accents. Watch, as he nails each one, from Irish to Italian and every accent in between.
A popular YouTube sensation who goes by the name of Sgt. Sizzles hilariously mocks the left-wing terrorist group, Antifa, who is known for causing chaos and streets around the Western world.
Watch the ticker at the bottom, some of the news is downright hilarious!
While roaming the streets of New Zealand at night you may encounter some crazy things, and some hilarious!
Watch this clearly gay New Zealander have a fun time playing around with police officers during a patrol of streets.
No holds barred roasting ceremony.
China is known for completely stealing everything Western from their movies down to their cars. The problem is they suck it actually reproducing these products and films.
Here is a perfect example of just how bad China is at replicating the cars that they have been attempting to steal for decades.
Didn't Hold Back
Comedians Kroll and and John Mulaney (Saturday Night Live) will voice the central characters of Nick and Andrew, respectively, in the edgy surreal comedy, whose voice cast also includes Maya Rudolph (Maya & Marty), Jason Mantzoukas (The League), Jordan Peele (Key and Peele), Fred Armisen (Portlandia), Jenny Slate (Girls) and Jessi Klein (Inside Amy Schumer).
“There are few things that keep me up at night….Nick Kroll’s adventures in puberty is one of them, so we greenlit this series with very few questions asked,” said Cindy Holland, Netflix VP of original content.
Kroll and Goldberg co-created Big Mouth with screenwriter-directors Mark Levin & Jennifer Flackett (Little Manhattan). All four executive produce the Netflix production.
“Andrew and I have been best friends since 1st grade, so this show is over 30 years in the making. I can’t wait to tell all the stories that make up the glorious nightmare of puberty,” said Kroll.
Among the duo’s real-life stories — a lip-sync performance of Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” at Camp Wildwood in 1992 which they call legendary and infamous to this day.
Kroll is the creator and star of Comedy Central’s Kroll Show. He also co-starred on FX’s The League alongside recurring player Mantzoukas. Kroll will next be seen on the big screen in Jeff Nichols’ feature, Loving, which premiered at the 2016 Cannes Film Festival, New Line’s The House, as well as three animated films, Seth Rogen’s Sausage Party, Illumination’s Sing and Dreamworks’ Captain Underpants. Kroll recently completed his nationally sold out tour and an off-Broadway run of Oh, Hello, which he co-created, co-wrote and co-starred in alongside Mulaney.
Writer-producer Goldberg has animated series experience — he began his career at Fox’s animated comedy Family Guy where he rose to co-executive producer. His feature script, The Wedding for CBS Films, appeared on the 2011 Black List.
Now if you want something for me, watch this Russian to break the window of this woman who is absolutely refusing to cooperate with but acting incredibly hysterical as he attempts to smash the window.
She may want to have a little fun at the local petting zoo, but she ended up being the one being felt up by the other species.
President Trump this morning retweeted a mocked-up GIF appearing to show him hitting Hillary Clinton with a golf ball.
"Donald Trump's amazing golf swing #CrookedHillary," reads the retweeted post.
A kangaroo roamed the streets of Wisconsin after escaping from a local farm on Thursday morning.
Kenosha County Sheriff's Department received a call at 7 a.m. that an animal, believed to be a kangaroo, was seen wandering near a county highway.
"It was determined that that the kangaroo exited it's confine from Jerry Smith's Farm (7150 18th Street) possibly by kicking the confine gate," the sheriff's office said. "The kangaroo decided to wander west on 18th Street"
Police eventually managed to track down the kangaroo, which "didn't put up a fight" and safely brought it home, the Journal Sentinel reported.
"Jerry Smith's Farm was contacted and 5-year-old Joey the kangaroo was safely returned to the farm without any injury to anyone," the sheriff said.
A 'Domino's pizza employee' has been spotted buying bargain pizzas from a supermarket.
However, this is not a genuine delivery driver, but a prankster, who set up the hilarious video after the chain was spotted topping up low supplies with frozen supermarket goods.
In the prank video, DiscoBoy dons a Domino's outfit and hat and takes a huge stack of ASDA's cheapest line of cheese and tomato pizzas to the self-service checkouts.
As he does, he is cornered by a man filming, who asks him what he is doing.
DiscoBoy looks at the cameraman and says: 'Mate, turn it off, please.'
But his filming friend insists he isn't going anywhere, and wants to know if he's selling these onto customers.
He says: 'That's a disgrace. They're expensive enough as it is and you're using ASDA's pizzas.'
Shrugging, DiscoBoy says: 'I just do deliveries, I've just been asked to do this.
'At the end of the day, these are the cheap ones anyway, these are not the big ones.
'We put our own toppings on them, then we put our own cheese on them. You're still getting a Domino's pizza at the end of the day, they're getting cooked in a proper oven.'